Dean Unglert was introduced to America during Rachel Lindsay’s season of The Bachelorette, during which he was one of the most lovable guys on the show. The 26-year-old has blue blue blue eyes, an adorable smile, and some serious daddy issues, which is also how I’d like to think people describe me.
While on Rachel’s season, there were signs of Dean’s immaturity, but never anything too concerning. Dean just seemed like a guy who didn’t take himself too seriously, which can be both endearing and frustrating. Cut to Bachelor in Paradise, where Dean – the lovable, adorable, daddy issues Dean – may very well may be this season’s villain.
Upon arriving in Paradise, Dean hooked up with Kristina Schulman, who fans of the franchise remember as the girl who ate lipstick to survive in Russia. She ate lipstick to survive in Russia, Dean. Did you not hear the story? Because I did and I cried.
On top of having survived a difficult childhood, Kristina is gorgeous, both with and without makeup. Also, props to Kristina for being one of the only girls to actually go makeup-less on the beach. Oh, and Kristina also has one of those amazing petite bodies that makes me want to casually not eat for a month. Basically, girlfriend is the whole package. So when Kristina hit it off with Dean, it felt good. That is until Danielle Lombard arrived.
Dean is into both Kristina and Danielle L., so he’s doing the chivalrous thing of having his cake and eating it too. While leading both women on, Dean keeps telling all the men that he has a deep connection to Kristina, but Danielle L. is just “so fucking hot.” To which, gag. Way to reduce it down to a beauty vs. brains issue, Dean.
Just how bad is this love triangle? On this week’s episode, Dean and Kristina woke up in bed together and ABC had to kindly blur out Dean’s morning wood. Then, that very day, Dean was in the pool with Danielle L., kissing her and telling her he could fall for her. Again, did Dean not hear about the lipstick? MY GOD.
It’s so bad that Kristina literally said paradise is worse than the orphanage. That may be a bit dramatic, but a great soundbite no less.
So I, of course, went on Dean’s Instagram, which is just what you do when you’re starting to hate a television personality. I didn’t comment or anything, because I’m not an insane person. However, some people DID comment on Dean’s Instagram and it’s kind of amazing and sad, but mostly amazing. Here are some of the highlights for your viewing pleasure:
Under this picture of Dean in this very, very interesting outfit there were several different kinds of comments. There were the rips on his outfit.
There were comments with which I really connected.
There were some clever pick up lines.
There were people who clearly don’t watch Bachelor in Paradise.
And then, there were some people who were just there for the jeans.
On Dean’s most recent Instagram picture, the comments got even more brutal.
The typical comment goes something like this:
Apparently Canadians hate Dean.
Paulagarciaaa really doesn’t like Dean.
But Mk_monkeylover10 still approves.
Laurenmarie0903 wins all the comments ever.
Lastly, Dean should have really, really listened to Eringooch.
Images Via Dean Ungler’s Instagram